You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize