Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
