Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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