no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
