omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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