I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize