it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
