I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
