You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She's the barista slut.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
