If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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