his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
