I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
