This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
