I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
