you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
