ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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