Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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