I don't usually arrange sex via text message
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
