Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize