What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I use my feet as sexual weapons
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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