Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
