Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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