if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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