Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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