I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
