Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
