I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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