fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
