well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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