and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
