to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize