I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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