Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
