I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
