normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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