how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
