There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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