I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
