we have officially mastered the walk of shame
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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