i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
