So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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