She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
