It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My life is pants optional.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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