he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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