remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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