Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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