Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
