He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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