Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
