Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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