No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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