She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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