What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
