found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
