peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
