a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
