i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
