VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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