Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
